Posted May 12, 2010 at 5:03pm
Friends
This show. Is honestly my favorite show. If this was the only show that was on tv I would watch it everyday. When I watch this show I think of my future and how I want it, and when will i get there after college. Think about it, yeah it’s only a tv show but they honestly live thee life. I want this life. Their no longer in school, they have started their careers, well Joey kinda has something going for him. But none the less. It’s perfect. They all are best friends, they live by each other, and they have no worries. Their not stressed about school or what their going to do with their lives. They go to work, come home, and chill. They have fun, they see each other everyday. Yeah there’s drama here and there, but is it really anything big? A few breakups, a few fights, but everything completely worked out. Can we really achieve this life? Is that really there? Oh how I wish to live that life right now. I try to see who I would be living with, what 3 chicks and what three dudes would be there everyday. They even have a sick hangout spot. That Central Perk is amazing.
It’s probably never going to happen in my life. But oh, I will keep dreaming.
Wow.
It’s crazy how things can turn on you so fast. I felt like everything was going good. Nothing to worry about. Then it kinda just hits you all at once. It’s almost as if nothing can always be good for so long. There always seems to be a downfall to your uprising. Seems like something will always stop you from feeling good. Even the people that you think are most happy have something wrong. It’s a matter of how good you hide it. I’ll hide it. I’ll put that smile on. It’s never really as bad as you think it is. People tell you what you should do about your situation but you never listen. You always think they don’t understand or you think you’re right for sure. But you’re always wrong in the end. No matter the situation.
“What’s right feels wrong, when you think you have it, it’s gone.”
Posted October 12, 2009 at 9:47pm
Cold.
I love the current weather. Cold, it seems depressing but for me it makes me happy, calm, relaxed, I love it. I put on my Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz cd’s along with a few others, and I’m good. This weather makes it easier to nap. I always love taking pictures when its cloudy. It’s that time when you get to actually settle down and just sit and cuddle with someone and talk. Talk about whatever, your day, your life, when you’re put in the situation everything just comes to you. When your having trouble with that other “someone” and you go and see them and talk, it feels like everything falls into place and everything feels right. No matter the situation with that person, no matter what everyone says about who’s doing what, when you’re there with that person it seems like everything changes, and everything is there, we forget what all the other people have to say about anything. Because all you care about at that moment is being with that other someone, and it’s perfect. I don’t have that someone this year. But it’s okay, it’ll come, I’m in no rush I’m not searching. I’m… whatever, chill. Whatever happens happens, and things will happen soon. I’m in a good, mellow mood. I like it =]
“All I really want is for you to feel me”
Tired.
I’ve found myself to be more and more tired everyday. It slowly got to me. I find myself wanting to sleep the moment I get home, but I can not for I have many things to do. I feel as if there is not enough time in my day I become over whelmed and finding no time to do things and having to worry. But yet I can find time to come onto here and tell you about ha. I’m not only tired physically I’m also tired emotionally. I’m uninspired to do things, I find myself down and no courage to do the things that I have set out there for myself. I ask myself why do I do this to myself. I know what I need to be doing and what I need to get done, and yet I procrastinate. Procrastination leads to worrying and worrying leads to breaking out ha. Being worried is never good. But we all worry about something. I feel like I just need a break from everything. I just… need to get away be by myself for awhile. I’m not depressed, I’m stressed I don’t think I can get what I need done in the time I have. For some reason it makes me more tired.
“I’m tired and uninspired.”
Posted September 30, 2009 at 5:46pm
I go to a place out in the country just to think sometimes. I go and get a banana Slurpee with some sour gummy worms. I just think, about anything and everything. When I do this, most of the time is because I need to be alone and just think things through, I try and think of what I need to do and what my priorities should be, or I would just go out there and be sad ha. It’s been awhile since I’ve been out there, but I feel like going again just to think, I want to leave this town. I want to move out. I want to be out on my own. I feel like I’d be happier that way.
(that picture is not that place, that is at Pitman)
ahhcck
I know what I want. But searching for it will get me no where, but being impatient doesn’t help me either. Why do I feel for it that so much. It’s coming to that time of year again, and it’s the time of year when it’s perfect to have this. That other someone. That one you can just “hey lets stay in and watch a movie” Then you just chill, or cuddle or do whatever in your sweaters ha. Or “lets go for a walk” and its freezing so you’re both cold but you don’t even care. Then that little thing everyone does “oh my hands our cold”, “oh really? here let me feel” haha. Makes me laugh thinking about it. I don’t know. I’m just in that mood to make someone feel good, to make someone feel like they are important. Feel something they usually don’t. I just want to make that someone else smile. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe I’m weird. ha
Posted September 28, 2009 at 1:39am
Guards
We all usually have our guards up. Whether it be a strong one or a weak one. We all have one, it’s just a matter how easy we let someone in, or if we should or not. A lot of us usually keep it up in fear of getting hurt very easily. But there always seems to be that one person that assures you that it’s okay, that we have nothing to fear, they wouldn’t do a thing to cause us to feel down. But in the end it always seems that it never turned out the way how they say it was going to happen. Its the promises that weren’t kept. So it goes back to putting that guard up. Being so stubborn always second guessing and always doubting the next one that comes along. Telling yourself that you’re not going to chase, you’re are not going to give in. But then when I think of doing that, or thinking that other people do that. I think what if the one that will actually be good for you, the one that we we’re actually looking for is in the same boat as you are? Where does that get you? It makes us think so much. But you still don’t want to put you’re guard down. My friend told me “we have to protect our hearts without building walls around it. If it wants you, it’ll find a way to be a part of your life.” Everything thing that we go through is a lesson. I always think when something is going good I go back and think “this wouldn’t of happened if I did this… I’m glad I did.” I believe that everything DOES happen for a reason, but sometimes it just takes a little longer for that reason to come around. We can’t always be afraid. With every good that happens and every hurt that we feel there is always something learned in the end. Learning is never a bad. Just look forward, never stay stuck.
IwillIcan
“Summer is over, and i doubt I’ll be seeing you around”
Posted September 24, 2009 at 8:54pm
Struggling.
Recently I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to this new college thing. How to be responsible for myself, having to do things for myself, having to tell myself what i need to do. It sucks, it’s a struggle. I’m just constantly worrying because I am not doing what I need to get done. These last couple days it hit me. I just needed to sack up and get my priorities straight. I need to realize what is most important at this moment. What I NEED to do rather than what I WANT to do. Yeah I want to go and hangout and have fun. But I can’t do any of that until what I NEED to do is done. Yeah maybe I’ll miss out on some laughs, but who cares? When I’m done with whatever I need I’ll have a better time kickin it with my buds. I will feel better, I won’t be worried and everything will have a more positive feel to it.
We all struggle with something everyday. May it not always be school but with, relationships, friends, family, there is always something to worry about and always something we need to deal with. Things will be going good then take a bad turn. We need to be able to see past it and work through it. We need to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones. We can’t let these things get us down. We decide everyday how our day will be, negative or positive. We need to be able to wake up think of the good things we have going for us, what to look forward to. If we wake up and think “oh shit today’s going to be shitty.” We just decided how are day will be. Yeah we know what we have to do that day, but it doesn’t mean we have to make it crap. We should, “Make the best of what we have, where we are, and what we have to do.” This is the only way things will get better, the only way things will start getting positive, by always looking at the positive. By realizing what is important in your life at the moment. It’s tough, it is also a struggle, but for every struggle there is always a resolution, it may not always be want we want, but it will be what we need every time.
IwillIcan
Posted September 22, 2009 at 8:15pm
Wondering…
I find myself wondering. Wondering a lot. I always wonder if I could go back and do something different or just not at all, I wonder if things would be different I wonder how things would have changed. I catch myself zoned out for periods of time not being able to focus. When I’m laying in bed before I fall asleep it comes most, I cant sleep I end up worrying or wishing things could be different. If I made better choices if I was more responsible, if i could prevent something from happening. Even though nothing can be changed now. I want to know, just to see.
